Releasing

It’s been nearly 8 months since I was diagnosed, six months since  my surgery, five months since my radiation oncologist told me during one of my radiation appointments that I was cancer-free.  Next week I’m heading to Indianapolis for another follow up appointment with my oncologist. It’s the first stop on my Health Defenders Trifecta Tour!  I’ll have my first mammogram a few weeks later in April, (more…)

Our Spirit Connects Us

How do you know when you’re on the right track?  I think you need to listen to your Spirit, that holy and divine essence that makes each of us move, but which over time and troubles can become encased in our shit!   Each of us has a small voice that speaks to us in subtle ways.  It’s the nudge that causes you to look to the side just in time to avoid an accident.  It’s the sense that you need to move or you’ll be bumped into by another person charging down the hallway.  It’s the image of a friend popping into your mind and then hearing a story about him, or seeing him pop up on facebook, or getting a phone call.  It’s the almost imperceptible pressure you sometimes feel when you’re alone or in deep thought, the sense that someone is there in the room with you while you’re alone. (more…)

Tan Lines

I was a beaming, sun-kissed goddess in the summers of my high school and college years.  I tanned easily to a rich bronze color.  I loved how pinks, corals, whites and pastels popped against my bronze skin.  And my naturally blonde hair, always bleached out further by the chlorine from the pool I practically lived in all summer, gave me a California Girl look.  My girlfriends and I competed (more…)

Prayer Enfolds Us

A friend of mine gave me a gift shortly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer:  a prayer shawl.  She had tears in her eyes as she handed me the package and told me what it was.  The shawl is one created by a group of women who come together and share scripture and hope and love and prayers while crocheting or knitting the wraps.  My shawl is made from a variegated aqua blue, green, and white soft-as-kitten-fur yarn.  The stitches are snugged together tight enough that you can’t poke your fingers through, yet loose enough that it has give when you wrap it around your shoulders.  When I throw it around me I imagine (more…)

I’m Being Phased Out…

This month has been a little more challenging for me than others this year.  (And we’re less than 40 days in to 2011!)   My period started at the end of January.  Sort of.  I think.  At least I hope that’s what’s going on now.  Or was going on.  Female issues have never been simple things in my life! 

Before I began Tamoxifen I was “like clockwork”.  Well, kinda.  I became syncopated later in life.  Thirty-eight years old to be exact.  Before that I might cycle three or four times a year.  But for roughly the last eleven years (more…)

In Praise Of A Woman’s Spirit!

I grew up devouring books about girls who overcame hardships and challenges in life and found happiness and success.  Most of the time.  The books I read didn’t always have happy endings.  Regardless, I was inspired to read of girls who grew up and lost friends, lost loves, lost their lives, their farms, their families and yet persevered.  The message I took from these stories was:  Women find ways to continue on.  Not quite, “…tomorrow is another day.”  More like “Today isn’t over ’til it’s over!” (more…)

I’ve Never Landed A Punch…Yet!

What would you do if as you were enjoying visiting with a friend or meeting with a client you suddenly experienced a pain that doubled you over, took your breath away, brought tears to your eyes?  I’m starting to learn to live with the agonizing  hot-poker-like nerve pain that randomly sears into my armpit and travels down my left arm, and the alternate dull ache that sometimes infiltrates my chest like a coverlet of distress.  Honestly.  Labor pain was less intense.

A new twist to my new life as a survivor are the random attacks of pain.  They bite without warning.  I’ve yet to figure out if they’re caused (more…)