Releasing

It’s been nearly 8 months since I was diagnosed, six months since  my surgery, five months since my radiation oncologist told me during one of my radiation appointments that I was cancer-free.  Next week I’m heading to Indianapolis for another follow up appointment with my oncologist. It’s the first stop on my Health Defenders Trifecta Tour!  I’ll have my first mammogram a few weeks later in April, (more…)

Our Spirit Connects Us

How do you know when you’re on the right track?  I think you need to listen to your Spirit, that holy and divine essence that makes each of us move, but which over time and troubles can become encased in our shit!   Each of us has a small voice that speaks to us in subtle ways.  It’s the nudge that causes you to look to the side just in time to avoid an accident.  It’s the sense that you need to move or you’ll be bumped into by another person charging down the hallway.  It’s the image of a friend popping into your mind and then hearing a story about him, or seeing him pop up on facebook, or getting a phone call.  It’s the almost imperceptible pressure you sometimes feel when you’re alone or in deep thought, the sense that someone is there in the room with you while you’re alone. (more…)

Prayer Enfolds Us

A friend of mine gave me a gift shortly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer:  a prayer shawl.  She had tears in her eyes as she handed me the package and told me what it was.  The shawl is one created by a group of women who come together and share scripture and hope and love and prayers while crocheting or knitting the wraps.  My shawl is made from a variegated aqua blue, green, and white soft-as-kitten-fur yarn.  The stitches are snugged together tight enough that you can’t poke your fingers through, yet loose enough that it has give when you wrap it around your shoulders.  When I throw it around me I imagine (more…)

Five Months Later

Today I hit an almost milestone.  Five months ago today I had my breast cancer surgery.  Whether it was a physical memory of the procedures that day or just routine aches, I found myself remembering the pace of that day with a little anguish.  I awoke exhausted this morning.  I couldn’t conceive of getting out of bed.  My body hurt all over.  And to make matters more aggravating, I was assured that my period once again started…eleven days after “Aunt Flo” left me… (more…)

A Doctrine of Fairness

How many times have you heard someone scream, “Hey!  That’s not fair!” ?  Fairness it seems is something each of us wants for ourselves,  sometimes at the expense of others.  I’ve struggled with the fuliginous concept of fairness for nearly a week.  I’ve struggled so much so in fact that I’ve had a hard time writing any blog posts.  Is that fair?

I’ve experienced my fair share of injustice over my lifetime.  I could, as the saying goes, write a book!  And consequently AM pulling my story together at the urgings of friends and fans.  I’ll get my fair share of comfort from naming names and documenting episodes!  Will anyone end up (more…)

In Praise Of A Woman’s Spirit!

I grew up devouring books about girls who overcame hardships and challenges in life and found happiness and success.  Most of the time.  The books I read didn’t always have happy endings.  Regardless, I was inspired to read of girls who grew up and lost friends, lost loves, lost their lives, their farms, their families and yet persevered.  The message I took from these stories was:  Women find ways to continue on.  Not quite, “…tomorrow is another day.”  More like “Today isn’t over ’til it’s over!” (more…)

A Touchy Subject: Breast Suppleness

I’ve read women’s accounts and listened to women describe disappointment and frustration over the firmness or hardness of their breast weeks, months, even years after lumpectomy and radiation.   Throw in the gnarled tender scar that lies just beneath the surface of the skin and fear jumps up front and center.

I remember the first time I tried to touch my wound the day after surgery.  My site had been finished (or top coated as I imagined) with some kind of industrial body glue which left the side of my breast feeling waxy (more…)