Five Months Later

Today I hit an almost milestone.  Five months ago today I had my breast cancer surgery.  Whether it was a physical memory of the procedures that day or just routine aches, I found myself remembering the pace of that day with a little anguish.  I awoke exhausted this morning.  I couldn’t conceive of getting out of bed.  My body hurt all over.  And to make matters more aggravating, I was assured that my period once again started…eleven days after “Aunt Flo” left me… (more…)

A Doctrine of Fairness

How many times have you heard someone scream, “Hey!  That’s not fair!” ?  Fairness it seems is something each of us wants for ourselves,  sometimes at the expense of others.  I’ve struggled with the fuliginous concept of fairness for nearly a week.  I’ve struggled so much so in fact that I’ve had a hard time writing any blog posts.  Is that fair?

I’ve experienced my fair share of injustice over my lifetime.  I could, as the saying goes, write a book!  And consequently AM pulling my story together at the urgings of friends and fans.  I’ll get my fair share of comfort from naming names and documenting episodes!  Will anyone end up (more…)

I’m Being Phased Out…

This month has been a little more challenging for me than others this year.  (And we’re less than 40 days in to 2011!)   My period started at the end of January.  Sort of.  I think.  At least I hope that’s what’s going on now.  Or was going on.  Female issues have never been simple things in my life! 

Before I began Tamoxifen I was “like clockwork”.  Well, kinda.  I became syncopated later in life.  Thirty-eight years old to be exact.  Before that I might cycle three or four times a year.  But for roughly the last eleven years (more…)

In Praise Of A Woman’s Spirit!

I grew up devouring books about girls who overcame hardships and challenges in life and found happiness and success.  Most of the time.  The books I read didn’t always have happy endings.  Regardless, I was inspired to read of girls who grew up and lost friends, lost loves, lost their lives, their farms, their families and yet persevered.  The message I took from these stories was:  Women find ways to continue on.  Not quite, “…tomorrow is another day.”  More like “Today isn’t over ’til it’s over!” (more…)

I’ve Never Landed A Punch…Yet!

What would you do if as you were enjoying visiting with a friend or meeting with a client you suddenly experienced a pain that doubled you over, took your breath away, brought tears to your eyes?  I’m starting to learn to live with the agonizing  hot-poker-like nerve pain that randomly sears into my armpit and travels down my left arm, and the alternate dull ache that sometimes infiltrates my chest like a coverlet of distress.  Honestly.  Labor pain was less intense.

A new twist to my new life as a survivor are the random attacks of pain.  They bite without warning.  I’ve yet to figure out if they’re caused (more…)

A Touchy Subject: Breast Suppleness

I’ve read women’s accounts and listened to women describe disappointment and frustration over the firmness or hardness of their breast weeks, months, even years after lumpectomy and radiation.   Throw in the gnarled tender scar that lies just beneath the surface of the skin and fear jumps up front and center.

I remember the first time I tried to touch my wound the day after surgery.  My site had been finished (or top coated as I imagined) with some kind of industrial body glue which left the side of my breast feeling waxy (more…)

“That’s What Friends Are For…”

My life really did drastically change after being diagnosed with breast cancer.  At first it was a battle.  Now, it’s a reality of my life.  Check ups. Evaluations. Medications. Side effects.  Residual pain. Coping.  Moving on.  I understand now that my life will always be a little different than it used to be.

Maybe that’s what Dr. Goulet was trying to get me to understand.  It’s a sobering revelation.

I’m starting to “get back out” among friends and colleagues.   I wasn’t aware of how isolated I’d made myself until (more…)